...sun sets and end credits role...

Jamming to some dance tunes.  Sweating my butt off as I finish packing and I'm pretty sure if my mother saw my pack job, she'd be very disappointed in me.  HAHA  But really, with in the last five years, this is the worst packing job I've ever done.  

Anyways moving on, my time here in Baltimore has come to an end.  It's hard to believe.  I reflect and think about my time here and I almost don't want to leave, but yet I must.  I must move on and find something new to challenge myself with.  Yup....I MUST!!!

Today was a wonderful, beautiful day, except for this morning when I was rudely awaken by thunder and lightening and rain shower then I was wringing with sweat because I became soooo hot.  After I gave up on the sleeping thing, I decided to just start packing.  So I packed for an hour then I had to make gifts and around noon I went and picked up Melissa at work and we headed out to Wal-mart and Chick-Fil-A.  Yum yum.  Then I had a wonderful afternoon with my good friend and co-worker Chris.

After dropping off Chris at the Metro, it hit me, I've finally said all my goodbyes, except for my housemates but that's it, I'm done!  It's hard to think about.  It's hard to think about the fact that I gave up the job that I know so well to someone else.  It's hard to not keep going back to say goodbye to people at Project PLASE.  As my housemate said it a few nights ago, "sometimes you just have to pull the band-aid off."  I want those feel good feelings to stay forever and never leave these people but yet I must move on.

Tonight was good closure.  The four of us went out to dinner and hung out with the few (just two) remaining LVCer's.  It felt like good closure as of right now and I've received the best gifts ever.  A journal and a book about MVS Baltimore.  Both necessary in life!!  

Well the band-aid is gone.  Time to move on and find a new adventure.  Who knows, maybe someday I'll return!!

Love from Baltimore (the final time)

Final Countdown (2 days = done at work, 4 days = leavin')

It hasn't sunk in yet.  I'm almost done here, then what?  Well, home of course.  I have no money to get by.  I've got a whole lot of nothing!  Check!

Tonight was one of the several farewell parties we've had and it began to sink in, I'm saying my goodbyes, and with some it's goodbyes for good and who knows when I"ll ever see them again.  Ugh....I got scared and then I could feel the tears begin to well up but not flow out.  (I was thankful for that, though I'm never ashamed of crying, usually)

It's just so hard to say goodbye to these people who had to become my family in such a short amount of time.  I've done the every two year thing and then I move on but one year is rough, actually really difficult, which sucks and very unexpected for me.

Who knew that the gypsy would find it difficult to move on after a year.  I should have just done another year, stuck around.  Now I play the "Well I could do this..." game.  No one wants to play that, I've made a good, healthy decision.  It was a good choice.  Very needed!

Well here's to my fellow volunteers and new Baltimore friends:
I've had the most wonderful year of meeting great new people, may not have spent enough time with them but now I know how to plan a better year.  I'll miss the co-workers who have shared with me about soooo much (life and social work).  I'll miss my new friends who went through this experience with me and may have experienced similar things, feelings, and thoughts.  And I appreciate the people who were there to listen to me and process life with me in this new year of growth as a true adult no in the college bubble anymore.  Thanks to all of you who loved and cared and laughed when I needed it the most.  You are all a true blessing!

Love

summer is in the air

As of late, life has been pretty busy.  Summer is officially here and now all I can think about is what's the next adventure of the month.  For about a month, I get to house sit for my host family who will be out on the west coast for a while.  I along with my housemates will hang out with 2 cats that shed like none other and a dog that sheds just as much but MORE and looks like a big, fuzzy bear that you just want to cuddle forever.

Like I said, life has been busy.  DC, Honfest, a wedding in middle of nowhere Ohio, NYC, and a fun jam session in the living room of RHHP.  July 4th weekend consists of relaxation and doing a whole lot of nothing except sleeping in and loving life!  And of course cookouts and Fireworks please!!  

My time here is quickly approaching it's end and I'm scared of not having the next step figured out.  It's a little nerve raking but of course it's my fault for slacking in that department, but life has been stressful as a volunteer as well (not just because of not being around, but also when I have the time I'm just pooped from other activities that I just want to kick back, relax, and do something mindless and nothing of importance).  That's the life of a volunteer:  hanging out, blogging, photos, and finding something free to do next.  

Highlights of NYC:  

Seeing The Empire State and Chrysler buildings (not sure why but I love looking at NYC's skyline because of them), walking the Brooklyn Bridge at night, walking around NYC at anytime in the evening because everything is still open, Chinatown and Little Italy, Rockefeller Center, and Central Park.

Next time, I'm in NYC:

Hang out in Central Park for much longer, (depending on when I go) go ice skating, go up the Empire State Building or Top of the Rock, check out Ellis Island, and hang in Coney Island.  Yeah we'll start there.

Welp gotta go get ready for the fireworks.  

Happy 4th!

Love from Baltimore

Lawrence Welks SNL Skit

No need to explain, Betty White was great on SNL and this one is probably one of my favorite ones right now.  Throw it on the ground is another good one too.  Gotta love SNL.

"Colorado Sunrise"

Boulder, CO

Me and Lindz

At the Rockies Game

Coors Field

Where I stayed at Rocky Mountain Mennonite Camp

Edelweiss

A view from the Top, didn't hike it but others did. Photo Credit Lindsey Reinford

My Buddies (Lindz, Ben, and I)

Not quite sure what we're doing

So I may or may not have had a lot of fun with some friends.  Thanks for a great week guys!  You're the greatest.

Safely in BMore

Mountains and Colorado

These 9 days have been the greatest 9 days of my whole year.  Yeah I went home for Christmas Break, but nothing can compare to this week.  I had the greatest time ever.  I met some new people and talked to old friends.  I caught up on life, and I completely ignored others.  I had a grand old time and I was perfectly fine with my decisions.  I didn't care.

We got back from retreat at Rocky Mountain Mennonite Camp today and I became acclimated to civilization again.  Having no cell phone reception made it difficult to function sometimes but it's ok, most of all my important people were in one place.  We had a great time, fellowshipping, discussing, and even realizing what we truly believe or maybe that was just me.  

This week, a lot opened my eyes.  I've considered having a series of blogs focusing on this one particular event in my life but it felt too overwhelming (or it may still happen).  I've realized so much about the Mennonite community.  FYI people, you can't change this stuff overnight.  And you people who aren't truly Mennonite, I don't think you truly understand, it's going to take a long time to change these people.  It can't happen in a matter of moments/minutes.  It's going to take time, maybe not until our generation becomes that age which sucks to say, but it may be the God's to Honest Truth.  It's a shit life, let's just be honest!!  I would love to change a Mennonite's viewpoint also, but I don't know when that will EVER happen, but I guess it's something that can be worked on.  Anyways, I don't know, I just know, that I wished it would happen but you can't exclude others who don't agree with what you believe in, what kind of Christian are you?  Hypocrite!!!!!!  (I might not have room to talk, but think about what you're talking about/doing, yeah I may be talking to you or I may not be.)

This week, a lot has ran through my mind.  Like even the simple definition that I have to explain a lot, what's a Mennonite? How do I even define it?  I don't know....we're pacifist?  We strive to live simply?  We're frugal?  Yes, all true, but what makes me a Mennonite?  I don't know.....tough question.  I'm not the hippie.  I don't always fit the stereotype of a typical Mennonite child.  But sometimes, I like to believe that I do.  Sometimes, I DO!!  I know, hard to believe but it's true, but I can't go too extreme, I've gone as far as the Chacos but thats it.  And the scariest part is that I know others who haven't gone that far, who haven't gone past the front door in a sense.  Those are the people that I'm scared to be around, will they challenge me to be the person I am?  Will I stick to my grounds of being the person I want to be?  

My challenge for the year I move home is staying true to myself, sticking up for what I believe but the true test will come when I have those discussions....scary!!

Well it's late, I should really sign off.  

And as for the evening,

Love from Boulder, Colorado (my new favorite place and a place I wish I would never have to leave)

"Let the Wild Rumpus Start" --Where The Wild Things Are

well I guess I'm a little late.  But this weekend was the start of my Away from Baltimore month:

April 30-May 1--Baltimore unit retreat, The Poconos
May 4-5--DC for the evening to hang with friends
May 7-8--Flower Mart in Mt. Vernon, come out and join us!
May 14-22--Colorado for Miss Lindsey and National Retreat
May 28-31--Seattle with Miss Courtney

Let the good times roll!  Can't wait!

Love from BMore or where ever I may be

(Pray for safe travels, Thanks!)

BOB

I don't usually ever write this much on one night but I'm feeling inspired.

The best part of Baltimore and many places may have it but here in Baltimore it's a big deal....the Best of Baltimore is everywhere.  Every place ever suggested to us is a Best of Baltimore something.  I listed one earlier tonight.  And now even the running joke among us VSers is that where ever we are going, even if it's Baskin Robin's, hopefully it's the Best in Baltimore for something here in BMore....I love it.  The link is located on my website pages on the right or right here.

Oh Balitmore, you are wonderful in your own special way!!
Lovin' from BMore

A Lost for Words...Sometimes

What to write about....

The ice cream trucks are out and about with their Christmas songs and "Hello!  Woof Woof."  The sirens and buses are as loud as ever now that my windows are open 24/7 now.  It's annoying but nice!  I'm always tired.  I don't really know why.  I go to bed at a decent time, I think.  Who knows, I probably don't!!  I'm in love with the 80's.  Pandora has the best radio station in the world, Best of the 80s Reloaded!

Beth bought a frisbee, last night we played.  It was fun.  It has a blue light so in the darkness, it was a bit trippy, but totally fun!!  We even started making up rules for frisbeeing.  Rule #1 You must always be prepared and ready for the frisbee to return to you.  Rule #2 When the frisbee is heading toward your face, you must use two hands.  Of course for safety precautions.  These rules are being recorded in hopes of more frisbeeing action to come.  Thank you BA!

Also exciting news, we got our bikes.  I got my bike.  Did I mention we were getting free bikes from a guy from church?  How awesome is that?  I got a a free bike.  It's nice too!!  I'm stoked!!  Super excited about it all.  It's black and has a super comfy cushioned seat.  LOVE IT!!  And the best part about it all, we get to keep our bikes too!!  How great is that?  Once again....LOVE IT!!!!

A lot of the time all I can think about are the things I want to do while I'm still here in Baltimore.  So what do I want to do.....
1. I want to be better friends with one person in particular and get to know her more (Mrs. Brenna Beck).
2. I want to hang out with the LVCer's more or as much as possible.
3. Baseball games will be great this summer.  Can't wait!!
4. Keep my head in the game.  I shouldn't get too far ahead of myself.  I'm still in Baltimore, I need to remember that!  I need to focus on my community here.
These are just a few maybe i'll have more to add later, I'll keep you posted.

Well I'm very tired.  Maybe I should head to bed.  Today at work, I didn't do much but this evening my friend, Melissa Sikes, who went with me to China came up from Harrisonburg to visit me for the evening before I drop her off at the airport to go pick up her Baby!  Well I'm exhausted and must get some sleep. Peace for now.

Love from BMore

Bobby

Today was one of those kind of days.  It felt pretty rough.  I was frustrated, overwhelmed, and wasn't really sitting at my desk today because I was trying to figure other stuff out.  Those types of days just kind of rock me and my foundation and I become unstable.  I get all flustered and tense.  That was how I was feeling all day really.  My morning already started out rough with a guy who wanted housing and was only hearing what he wanted to hear and not the full spectrum of what I had to say.  So right away, 9 am, I was already thrown off balance while trying not to cuss the poor man out.  I was pretty frustrated and began to rant to my nearby neighbor who tends to hear about many of my complaints, poor Millicent.  And then after that I began my call backs and figuring out what beds were available in the facilities and then I got stressed out with the amount of beds I had available.  Ugh....it's a never ending job it seems.  Then I went to counseling and expressed some of my emotions but there wasn't a lot there.  Just some loose ends that were slightly fraying but could easily be braided back together.  I wasn't completely falling apart.  Then I ran into a co-worker and we talked for a good thirty to forty five minutes.

Wow, in the midst of those few minutes that I got to spend with this man, I was blown away by his ability to share.  I don't know much about many of my co-workers, except the few who tell me the little details.  I ask little questions here and there to other co-workers but this man told me a lot.  It was a personal and a humbling experience.  For someone to open up to me like he did, I almost didn't know how to take it.  I loved it and it was just so special.  This man told me about how was an addict, and eventually got himself into PLASE.  And how he was living in the facility and then got his life back together.  He eventually got a job working there at Project PLASE and he's been there as a paid employee for 10 years and he did his internship there too for college.  Man, this man overcame some hard shit and I was so proud of him and I don't even know him that well.  It was all just very strange but beautiful at the same time.  I loved it!  He talked about life and how it's rough and how all someone can do is be supportive and show some tough love and eventually all can be good.  And just to think, this whole conversations started with, "how's your day Kristin?"  I got more than I was bargaining for. Thanks Bobby!

With that, and being big, bad me, I'll send you all some tough love to get your acts together and to motivate or to challenge yourself.

Love from BMore

Goodnight Noises Everywhere

I've rearranged my clothes in my dresser drawers and in my closets.  I'm listening to my new favorite song again (The Trapeze Swinger by Iron & Wine).  I still have two loads of laundry in the dryers.  I went shopping this afternoon.  I bought a few dresses.  I wish to wear dresses or skirts more often this year.  I need to start reading again.  I'm liking the warm weather that is heading our way.  I've heard more stuff is going on in our neighborhood which scares me, not good.  I'm ready to be done here, but sad I'll have to leave.  I hate that my legs haven't seen light for the last 5 months (or however many) because I'm too white.  I keep self diagnosing myself either with bipolar disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder (which I may have a bit of both, just not to the extreme).  Everyone I know is either getting engaged or are having babies.  Who does that?  I'm getting a free bike which I'm very excited about even though I may not express those feelings.  I wish I could sleep for hours and hours.  And I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow or finish my laundry tonight.  I wish I could just snap my fingers and it be done!  Unfortunately it's not, and I hear it calling my name even though I'm trying to avoid it.

Love from BMore

"Keep your head above water, but don't forget to breathe."

Things are starting to happen, lots of them actually.  My next steps, reading and feeling inspired, better weather, great friendships (ones I for sure cherish), busy schedule.  A lot of stuff is going on and it just feels great!

Currently Reading:  The Justice Project by McLaren, Padilla, and Seeber
I joined small group from NBMC and I'm liking it so far.  We haven't gotten too far into the book we're reading because we've just started but I'm really excited to ready about Justice and God and how they are intertwined.  So far I've read just the introduction and first chapter or essay.  I'm already thinking about how God's work and justice go together and how my life fits into that category as well.  Younger, I've always wanted to do missions.  As an adult I chose Social Work as a field.  How perfect?  I'm not trying to force feed Jesus or God to anyone, I just like the idea of helping another person in need like Jesus did for so many.  He didn't criticize, he accepted and loved everyone.  Sometimes I don't put all that together.  Sometimes, I just stop with God is love and perfect, I only see the "good stuff" I don't think about all the other things he encountered.  Then I think where have I been?  I'm not that 7 year old that still goes to Vacation Bible School and almost always seems to hear about the same stories over and over again.  I'm an adult who's living in the real world and who has to deal with the struggles of real life.  I can't stop someone from using cocaine or heroin anymore.  I can't convince an individual with schizophrenia that they'll be okay if they stay here for the night.  I can't do that.  And in those big moments of helplessness, what am I suppose to do?  I hope The Justice Project will give me some advice.  I know it probably won't answer all my questions but as long as I get an idea of where I should be going, that's all I can really ask for.

Also I'm reading The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd.  I haven't gotten too far, but I've enjoyed it so far.  It's one of those read before you go to bed types.  I'll keep you posted on how it turns out.

Current Thoughts:
I have lots of these.  One thing that's keeps reoccurring in my mind, mainly because I never did it, is a question my aunt asked me.  She asked "Why did you become a Christian?"  She had a whole paragraph about how their church is doing this bible study and along with why their faith story, they answered this question.  And I never did it mainly because I have no clue how to answer it.  Why did I become a Christian? Something to ponder.

My job has been pretty painful at times, but currently it hasn't been too bad.  Something I constantly complain about is how some clients don't stay for very long.  I was talking with someone who's working on getting her masters in social work and has been counseling me (more for support due my stressful and sometime depressing job).  I expressed this feeling to her and she gave me great advice, comforting actually, it's obviously them not me.  Many of these people have been so unstable and insecure about who to trust and give respect to, how can they begin to create a stable life and trust others.  They've been taken advantage of and are so emotionally fragile, how do we even help?  Where do we begin to give support and encouragement?

I've learned not just within this year but in general how impersonal-able I am.  It's not that I can't relate and get along with people, I'm not socially awkward.  It's the first time meeting a person.  I may come across as intimidating and overly confident that is a total front and completely fake!  The bad part is that I don't realize I'm doing that until the moment has past and gone.  I realize that I'm not friendly to strangers, maybe that's my introverted way.  I'm a hypocrite.  I hate how churches don't accept people for stupid reasons but here I am, I can't even say a nice and polite "Hello, my name is Kristin.  I don't think I've met you before...."  How pathetic am I?  Then I think, maybe it's because where I grew up?  Maybe it's because I still feel the preppy obnoxious person I had to be back in high school.  That must change.  I must work on that.

March Madness is on the verge of beginning.  I am so excited.  I just hope there will be lots of exciting games like last year again this year, I think that's why I'm soooo excited about watching the games.  I love basketball.  It makes me all happy and giggly inside.  If only I didn't have to work and I could watch them all day long.  I can multi-task!

Friends are constantly on my mind.  I miss some of those old friends.  And I'm excited about the next few months and I get to see many of them.  How exciting?  I'm looking forward to May and going to National Retreat.  Ah.....can't wait!

One last thought...have I told you my cousin is getting married?  Well she is.  I'm happy for her and I get to go to Jamaica for the beautiful wedding.  It shall be quite a time.  And I get to take a friend.  Ah....Betha and I are going to have such a splendiferious time.  I can't wait, unfortunately, we have to wait a WHOLE year before this shin-dig will even happen.  Suck a duck.  I want warmth and cold drinks now!  But it will come soon and I'll be in heaven.  Ah imagine with me now, the sand between toes, exfoliating the skin.  The warm sun beating down.  The waves crashing.  Long walks along the beach.  The sun burn, but who cares I'm in paradise, it will fade.

Movie Choices I've made within the last four days:
Friday--Alice in Wonderland in 3D.  Amazing.  I sat at a bad angle but absolutely loved it.  It reminded me of Chronicles of Narnia.  I loved that movie too.
Saturday--Went to movies with Melissa and saw Valentine's Day.  Once again, I loved that movie as well.  I knew I would even thought Kara told  me I would love it, I truly did!  Then when we got home, I watched Top Gun.  Great classic!  Love it also.
Sunday--Watched Precioius.  Ugh..good but it's right up there with Seven Pounds.  I'll watch it once but probably never again.  It was very disturbing and unfortunately probably something that happens to many people.  What a horrible world, I do recommend Precious to anyone who's interested.  It's very good, yet very disturbing.
Monday--I watched Post Grad. This was another one of those sappy girl movies that I LOVE!!  The movie was ok, definitely not a favorite but definitely liked it.  Michael Keaton is probably one of my favorite actors.  He's really good, very funny!

What can I say, the weather has been crappy and it's apparent considering all I've done is watch movies.  Unfortunately I could have found better things to do with my time, but movie watching is way better on rainy, cloudy, miserable days like this last weekend.  But sunshine and warmth is in our near future here in Baltimore.  YIPPEE!!

Current Music selection:
Most of my music selection has consisted of the "trashy" type lately, as my fellow MVSer likes to call it.  And unfortunately no matter how trashy and inappropriate it is, I still like it.  I go through phases and currently this is my phase, the "trashy" hit music world.

Well until next time.  Sorry this got soo long.  Hopefully I'll be able to define why I chose to be a Christan?  Something to eventually look forward to and reason number one to keep reading my blog, right?  haha

Love from BMore

Snowpocalypse

When Baltimore starting going crazy about the snow that was to come, I thought they were frickin' nuts.  I thought it would be NOTHING!  I thought and I was completely wrong.  2 days of shoveling, a quiet city, several roads that are still not cleared away, 1 great and awesome adventure, and 3 days laters, I still have to go to work on Monday while others in my household and unit get the day off because the office is closed and basically the city is shut down.  I hope they close our office.  We'll see!!

Winter 09/10 has been a crazy one here in BMore.  I hope no more will come.  My body won't be able to handle the pain!

photo by Beth Azarow

You can't see my house which is on the right side, near the lamp post and where the top of the tree is.  But this is taken in the middle of the road going North towards Druid Hill Avenue and Druid Hill Park.  Yeah those cars are covers and buried and people are walking down the middle of the road.  Maybe more pictures to come.  As of right now I must get my beauty sleep for tomorrow.  We don't want a Kranky Kristin around (it will pry happen anyways).

Recap:  20 plus inches, 2 days of shoveling, 1 exciting adventure yesterday along North Ave, and 1 sore body = a believer, but at least I'm an experienced snow driver, these East Coast people need to learn.  Oh Baltimore, I will not doubt no more.  You surely have impressed me, now go away!

Love from (still snowy) BMore

snow, snow, snow, it won't be long...

Tonight was wonderful.  It's been snowing all afternoon evening and it looks gorgeous outside.  We walked from Fells Point to a friend's house and then from there we drove back.  It was fun to drive in the snow again.  I knew I could do it but it was great to have the control over that.  Until we got to Linden Ave, I thought we were going to get stuck.  UGH!  That would have been horrible.

We ended up not going on our retreat, which sucked and we were pretty bitter about, but whatever, we'll deal, so we had to make our own fun.  What the fun will consist of, we don't know.  Well, I should finish eating cuz I had the munchies and then I think I'm going to go to bed and sleep in.......ah....warm room, warm bed.  Great night!  Thanks friends!

Love from Snowy, almost Snowed-In, BMore

boo

After living on the East Coast for 2 almost 3 years now, I've realized how people hype up snow and the many inches it can accumulate.  Of course, for a born and bred Hoosier, it's nothing.

Tomorrow or this weekend, it's suppose to snow.....again.......and a lot!  It better because they canceled out stinking retreat because of it.

Pissed off in BMore

What's the next step?

Becoming a social worker is a scary thought in my mind.  Yes, I have a bachelor's in social work but my job doesn't consist of me doing complete social work-y things.  I'm not doing case management right now, but the idea of actually doing that for a living scares me.  What happens when I start working as a case manager and I just get stuck in a funk of not caring or whatever happens to burned out social workers?  That's scary!

Anyways, so I have 3 or 4 possible options for my future.  I guess I'll probably base my descion on where ever I find a job.

Option #1.  Stay in Baltimore.  That's scary to say because approximately at Christmas time I didn't think I could or would say that.  But I wouldn't mind finding a job, working towards getting a social work license, and living in a normal house or possibly sticking around RHHP but only for a while.  Plus, Harrisonburg, Carlisle, DC and other exciting places aren't far at all.  And I would have a car, so I wouldn't feel trapped and stuck in the city.  I may also have a potential place to live already other than RHHP.  That's exciting!

Options #2.  Go back to Shipshewana.  It would be wonderful to live in the Land of Country and No Tall Buildings aka not big/medium city life.  I would have to find a job in Goshen/Elkhart/South Bend area which wouldn't be bad but it's another option.  Plus perk to going back home, I may have a possible alternative place to live other than home home.  That makes me excited because life at home could potentially get rough for me at the ripe old age of 23.

Option #3.  Harrisonbug.  Not sure what I would do there or where I would work, but of course I'm still thinking and figuring out all those details.  I could potentially live with old friends who are going back there maybe but maybe they won't I don't know.  But then again Baltimore is only 3 hours away. 

Option #4.  DC.  Totally didn't think about this place until a co-worker mentioned it.  Of course it's a great place.  There's social work things to do there too.  But anyways these are my options.

But then I think is the East Coast still what I want?  I don't know what I want.  There are so many options.  I'm open to advice or if you hear of any job openings.  Holla!


love from bmore

SUNFLOWERS

According to my housemate, my vibe (everyone has one as well as an animal essence, I don't know that one yet) is a sunflower. 
"Kind of country, but very versetille at the same time. All types of people like sunflowers. They are sweet and bold all at once. They are tall and bright colors. They bring beauty to unexpected places (example: sunflowers grow in Kansas and South Dakota- beauty in the unexpected"  --BA   

It feels so true.  My vibe is so sunflowers.  I wish I had the gift of determining what vibes people give off (ok it probably isn't that big of a job but it would lots of fun). 

 

Life: "It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song"

I always start a blog but never know what to write.  I have too much running through my head.  So here you go, after I've regurgitated it in my head for several weeks and now I vomit it up just for you (great visual I'm sure).

1.  I watched American Beauty this afternoon.  Loved it.  I need to be a happier person in life.

2.  Just came back from a great weekend with friends in DC.  I met Kim and Eric at Kim's Uncle's house and he was so hospitable.  Every time I'm not around Kim and Eric for too long I forget how great they are but as soon as we start hanging out again, it all comes back and then I'm so proud of them even in the midst of our stupidity and silliness.  I love them. So basically my weekend or two evenings and three days excursion to DC involved the basics:  lots of laughing, wine, more laughing, deep discussions, awkward moments, more wine, a tarten or two (or Salten as Kim liked to call it), and the obvious two against one Kim and I always won (poor Eric). 

Highlights of the trip:  1. Saw DC or the Monuments lite up.  Beautiful!  2. Finally saw the Jefferson Memorial.  Never been to it before.  3. Even though I couldn't see it very well, saw a live performance, art show opening.  It was suppose to be like a Snowglobe and had ballet dancers.  It was cool!  4.  Ate a flaming fish.  It wasnt flaming when I ate it but before it was.  5. Ate Turkish food.  That was new and exciting.  Very delicious!  6.  Saw good friends.  Laughed with them.  Made awkward, funny jokes.  Still love them.

3.  Music is Love:

   Far by Regina Spektor --->  Great new cd I've come to love.

   Breakup by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johannson  --->  Another new cd I love.

4.  The unit went to the National Aquarium with a family from church.  It was a great time.  And I had the opportunity to work on my New Year's Resolution....flirting with children.

5.  I've been thinking about a lot of other different things too...
Who am I?  Sometimes I think I change who I am for certain people.  And sometimes I am not who I truly am in fear of someone getting upset with me and telling me their thoughts are the only right thing in the world.  I don't like dealing with those people.  They annoy me.  Then I question, what's my purpose in Baltimore? I'm still working this one out.  Yeah I know, I'm here to work at Project PLASE and I'm trying to help the homeless, but there's more.  Then I always question, why did I choose Baltimore?  In the end, I'm so happy with the people I've met and the friend's I've made.  They are awesome, great people.  So what do I want in life?  Why am I not satisfied?  And how can I be satisfied?  I need all of these things to make my life happier that's for sure.  I need more of others in my life and less of that other junk that doesn't make me happy.  And the last thing I constantly think about of course, what do I do next?  Where do I go from here?

6.  I had the greatest conversation that made me so happy.  DC recognizes same sex marriages and we talked with Jon about it and it was beautiful to hear him talk about how they will probably have a ceremony, eventually.  I am sooo happy for them.  Jon and Christian, even though I haven't known them for very long, have been very influential in my life and in my thoughts.  I never thought about the LGBT community until I met them and now I feel more connected.  They truly are beautiful and I'm truly blessed to have them in my life. 

7.  New thoughts of next move...West of the Mississippi River but definitely not St. Louis too much like BMore.

8.  And now I want a dog like this one.  This is Nora.  Isn't she a cutie?  She's a golden retriever and fully of spunk and love.

 9.  These are some of the ladies I work with.  And I love all these ladies that I get to work with.  They are absolutely amazing women and such role models and hilarious!! (Dora, Erica, & Barbara)

Well I should go.  Stop singing my songs.  Clean my room.  Think about tomorrow.  And think about my food. What do I even eat?  Keep the prayers flowing as I'm still struggling with a lot of things and just thinking about too much.  Thanks for the love too.

Love from BMore

Goal #2: Learn to not be scared

I've met some of the greatest people and a lot of those great people aren't scared to ask the scary, awkward questions in life.  I admire them.  I admire how they can be so bold and not care what others are thinking of them or they can just take the criticism.  They have so much more strength and courage that I for some silly reason don't have.  Strange!  But anyways, I want to be able to ask those deep questions and ponder what I truly believe and is what I believe something I want to believe or just ingrained in me because that's what I've always been told to believe yada yada. 

So the next goal I suppose is to not care so much about what people think of my thoughts.  I should feel safe asking embarrassing questions in front of friends.  They are my friends right.  I shouldn't feel ashamed.  I'll practice.

New Years Resolutions....

I don't really have any New Years resolutions but possibly....
1.  expand my music collection 
2.  read more books.
3.  not to be ashamed of country music in the city of Baltimore.
4.  make more new friends.
5.  find one thing I'll absolutely miss if and when I leave Baltimore.
6.  (my personal fave thanks Beth) make more destructive decisions in life.
7.  find ways to be more of a liberal Mennonite.
8.  watch those movies I've always wanted to see but haven't seen yet (American Beauty, there are pry others but right now they aren't coming to my mind)
9.  drink more coffee (cuz I do that now haha).
10.  experience Baltimore.
11.  experience life to the fullest.
12.  give all I can give.
13.  find happiness.
14.  see God in the little and daily things in life.
15.  be me and be comfortable. 
16.  flirt with more children (meaning talk it up with them like none other).
17.  listen to more of The Avett Brothers.



...maybe I just shouldn't make any resolutions